i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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