There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
