i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
