There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
