Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
