Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
