Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
