wrigley field is MILF paradise
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
