i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
