I've blown a few things in my day
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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