haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Are my feet made of real feet?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
