Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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