I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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