Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
