3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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