apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
