Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
