Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
