either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
