Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
