i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
