This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
