The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
