You work out of a Hotel?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
