I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
