Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
