I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
