He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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