Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
