in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
