so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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