How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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