I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
