I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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