Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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