yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
