I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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