Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
