Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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