you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
