Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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