No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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