I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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