I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
