Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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