It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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