as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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