Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize