What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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