Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
