Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
please come you make the beer taste better
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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