Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
