Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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