You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
