oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
