Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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