I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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