The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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