Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
