hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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