Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
