We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
