i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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