You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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