Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I forget how to act sober
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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