Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
