spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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