when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
