ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize