He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
