Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
