Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
