oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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